What it’s like to be bi-polar or to get anxiety/panic attacks.
I have had an uncountable amount of panic attacks… and i have never been able to find the words to come even close to describing the feel….. but good job… you did it! haha. That’s exactly how it feels.The thing about panic attacks is that every single time one starts to occur, it seems like it’s the first one (or the worst one) you’ve ever had. You’ve been over the what seemed like obvious steps of getting yourself out, like preparation for a plane crash. Pull oxygen mask from ceiling. Apply to face. Breathe. Duh. You know what you’re supposed to do. But that doesn’t matter. Time, relationships, it all doesn’t matter. You are completely alone in your fucked up little black hole, and nothing else matters. No one loves you and no one cares. Things won’t get better for you. And it seems like the ending would just be pointless. There’s not any light at the end of the tunnel, just more open darkness. And no one cares. You crawl into bed and stare at the ceiling for hours and hours, stoic and insomniac. Your last thoughts, last wishes right before you nod off are hopes of never ever having to wake up to another eat-sleep-work-repeat day again. And no one cares.
Then you wake up the next morning, fine and refreshed, and try to recall what got you so whiny late last night.
